


what he doesn't know (will probably hurt him)

by kenhwan



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fashion Designer Kibum, M/M, Soft Boy Lee Taemin, kibum is a huge rat in this im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 03:03:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenhwan/pseuds/kenhwan
Summary: taemin is love.





	what he doesn't know (will probably hurt him)

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't even mention jonghyun in this how did i leave out my bias im so srry im also srry bc this is bad i wrote it in an hour 
> 
>  
> 
> kibum : numb / marina and the diamonds

when kibum asks taemin out, hes ecstatic. he’s all half moon eyes and bright grins and red cheeks, squealing his affirmate response and getting a laugh in response. in hindsight, someone really should have warned him. warned him that kibum would do anything to be at the top, to be the best, whether it meant hurting someone ( physically or emotionally ) or playing dirty, he didn’t care. someone should have warned taemin, one of his friends or kibum’s. they just turned the other cheek and took bets on what was to come. that’s where the red flag should have gone up.

kibum and taemin are happy enough together, it seems. after the first year mark, they move into a studio apartment together. it’s crammed and shitty but they don’t care, because they’re in love and love is blind to most things such as this, they’re over the moon just to be so close. taemin enjoys how domestic it all is. kibum gets home from college at 4:40, ( they purposely rented their apartment close enough that he wouldn’t have to stay in the dorms ) and the younger is always there, watching something on his tv or his computer. they greet with a kiss. 

taemin works 2 part time jobs, at the convenience store about 20 minutes from their house on tuesdays, wednesdays, fridays, and sundays. on mondays, thursdays, saturdays and half days on sundays, he works at a boutique at the mall, selling fragrances and jewelry he couldn’t even afford himself. he rarely gets a whole day off, but it doesn’t bother him too much. his hours are okay and the money he makes is enough when it’s mixed with kibum’s, so he doesn’t mind. 

every night before they go to sleep, it’s become a ritual that they sit on their window ledge and the older opens his astrology app. they look at what constellations are out tonight, then try to find the stars by themselves through the smog and pollution of the city’s bright lights.

when taemin was moving the last of his things from his mother’s house to their apartment, he found an old box of sticky glow stars. they hung them on the ceiling.

oh, the things those stars have seen. scratches down backs and cries of pleasure, hands across soft cheeks and one sided fights beyond things imaginable. taemin doesn’t mind when kibum calls him names or shoves him away, because he’s nothing special, there’s no different circumstances, it must happen to everybody. it’s not that bad, he assures himself. he’s seen on the news about people stabbing their significant others. he can take a few bruises and scrapes, a few slaps won’t kill him. he doesn’t know that’s not normal. they still kiss before kibum leaves every morning. 

taemin understands that kibum won’t be on time everyday. he figures, because they don’t talk about it, that kibum has to stay late to finish projects for school, figures that he probably has clubs or extra classes or something to go to. he always brings taemin something whenever he comes home too late. a sweater he made in class that day especially for him or a new pair of earrings or something like that. he believes they’re gifts of love and everyone else knows they’re gifts of guilt. 

\- 

 

whenever they first move in together, kibum brings two of his friends to help. one of them, named jinki, because he has a truck and hell if they have money to splurge on something like a u-haul. and the other, named minho because he;s strong and tall and well - taemin and kibum don’t exactly make it an effort to lift weights. 

taemin ends up dropping one of his boxes, and something inside breaks with a sickening noise. kibum laughs and calls hims a klutz before he continues moving his own things. jinki gets a scowl and minho just rolls his eyes, muttering something about kibum being a “mean girl”. jinki gives the youngest a tight lipped smile before helping him pick up his box again.

-

the next time jinki and taemin meet, it’s induced by kibum again of course. they’re at some bar and restaraunt that’s much too loud for taemin’s liking. kibum insisted that jinki sit between them, to which taemin frowned but didn’t protest because he was polite and jinki was nice and there was no reason for him _not_ to want to sit next to the older, and he did, but he wanted to sit next to his boyfriend as well. it registered in his head that kibum wants to sit next to his friend, it didn’t register that kibum didn’t want to sit next to taemin. 

jinki starts to get the feeling that for some reason kibum is embarrassed by the youngest member of their party, doesn’t want to be seen too close to him. he couldn’t imagine why he _would_ be embarrassed, because taemin is charming and soft and has a pretty, warm smile. he’s polite and elegant and delicate looking, he radiates youth and kindness and hell, if that’s not what everyone wants to be around, right? 

so when taemin excuses himself to the restroom, he asks the other why he distances himself from his boyfriend. “he’s weak.” is all kibum replies. 

jinki feels his heart shatter into shards at the bottom of his stomach.

-

to jinki, taemin is an enigma. he’s everything that he wishes he could be. he’s smart and caring, he’s kind to everyone and anything. taemin is young and naive and sees the good in everything. it seems as if nothing can touch him, he’s oblivious to all the bad things happened around him and even to him. 

he’s seen him dance, seen him do it professionally at a recital at their last year of highschool and seen him teach it to little kids with the biggest smile on his face at 6:00 every saturday in the park. he knows taemin does it for free, does it purely because he wants to share his love for the art, because he understands from his own youth that not everyone can afford dance lessons for 500 dollars a week. 

when taemin dances, he’s the strongest ox and the prettiest flower, the most delicate lace and the most cruel god. 

taemin is love, and jinki had inevitably fallen for him. 

-

on one occasion, when kibum is in a particularly nasty mood, taemin uses all of the hot water for his shower. this was, as expected, the wrong thing to do. it wasn’t like he did it on purpose, it would’ve been easily solved if kibum would have just waited half an hour to take his own. but instead, he pushes taemin against the wall and yells out hurtful words, something about how stupid taemin is, how clumsy and naive and annoying he is. “this is why i’m leaving for paris tomorrow.” he says. 

and when taemin wakes up on the couch, kibum is gone. 

-

everything about kibum and taemin gives jinki heart pains. 

it certainly doesn’t help when the youngest shows up at his door that day in october, wearing a thin t-shirt with an unzipped hoodie, water droplets darkening his light skinny jeans. they must’ve been tears, it wasn’t raining. the moment he opens his front door ( the door to the house that was his mothers, which he inherited when he passed away ) he tugs taemin in without a word, wrapping him in the blanket he’d claimed he liked on his last visit. 

not a word was said before jinki made him a cup of hot chocolate ( he distinctly remembers taemin on one occasion saying he doesn’t like coffee or tea because he thought it was endearing as anything ). even then, the only conversation was ‘he’s gone,’ which only prompted a kiss on the head and ‘i know.’

taemin stays at jinki’s house. it starts off for just a few days, and the days turn into weeks. when it’s been 6 weeks, and taemin is making his biweekly trip to the apartment to get clothes ( he always comes back with puffy red eyes, a runny nose and bitten lips, but jinki doesn’t ask because he already knows ), jinki brings it up. he does have this whole house to himself, taemin can have his own bedroom and everything. taemin agrees, and jinki loads the younger up in his old red truck. 

-

the older watches taemin hesitantly put his things into the same boxes they arrived in. every once in a while while packing his clothes, he’ll take one off the hanger and stare at it for a few moments. he’ll fold it and put it in one of the drawers in kibum’s dresser. jinki doesn’t ask, because it’s not his place. 

none of this is his place. he shouldn’t be here, having to do this. this is where kibum is supposed to be. taking care of taemin when he’s upset, helping him go through his clothes. if you would’ve told him six months ago that kibum would be out of the picture and he would be living with love himself, he would’ve been ecstatic. instead, he’s looking around empty walls that only weep of loneliness and abuse and things that never should have been. 

-

taemin finishes bringing all the things that seemingly don’t have bad memories, it ends up only being three boxes. two of them are clothes. he visibly flinches when he walks by the slight dent in the wall, just as he did when he walked into the apartment. 

jinki wraps an arm around him and for the first time in years, taemin feels safe. 

-

it’s may when taemin really starts to smile again. 

jinki wakes him up when the day is set to be warm, gives him a cup of iced sweet tea, tells him that it would be a nice day to go to the park. 

so they go. taemin in a light jacket and his ripped jeans, walking almost suffocatingly close to jinki. about 15 minutes in, a little girl with freckles and dark braids runs up to them, probably about 6. ‘taemin!’ she’d yelled excitedly, rambling on about how she missed him and how for christmas she got to go to dance lessons this year. 

taemin gave his warm smile, crouching down to her height and laughing along. she’d insisted that he watch the dance routine she’d learned for her first recital, so he did. when she was finished, he took her hands in his and squeezed gently as he cooed out praise, ‘by the time you’re a teenager you’ll be better than me, sooyoung!’

jinki’s heart warms as the days do, because taemin is spring. he’s rebirth, he’s the flowers blossoming and the sun shining on the children running around.

taemin is love.

**Author's Note:**

> ily uglies thx for reading


End file.
